Blunt

Friday, March 27, 2009,5:41 PM

Once again..

Today is an okay day. I am glad I had put one of my friend's words into mind 'dont think about it... whenever I am in that position I would try to make myself busy and do something, anything!' It really helped =] This morning I woke up at 8am, even though I was wide awake I didnt want to go to the bathroom and clean up myself. Instead I fall back into sleep. I once read an article from somewhere saying that when a person is in this position, they would either go through starvation, eat too much, sleeping too much or too little for its pain to heal. I guess I am one of them, I tend to sleep way too much in the morning, I guess pass 10hrs of sleep whenever I got a chance to. Everytime I told myself that I am over with the case, but somehow I was pullen back and think way too much about it; yes i deary missed that time. But thinking bout it in a mature way, it wasnt worth it at all. I tried to be mature, and handle this case in the proper way; yet I feel numb. It wasnt easy to erase you, and it sure wasnt easy to put you back on the list. Erasing you from all my accounts that has your name on it, is like erasing you from my world. Even though you had try to contact me, and so do I. But you and me knows that for now we cant really talk much. We shouldnt know anything about each other yet.. until maybe in the future if fate tells us that we can finally be friends again. This period of time is the most toughest period to get through, but I tried, holding my tears in and focus on something else. I am sure you and her is happily together now. I rember you told me that she would be here on the March, and you will be graduating as well. Therefore I congradulate your success. You finally made it to what you want, or maybe the case btw you and me isn't what you want. But I think for now, this is the best position to be in.
Anyways, enough of the nonsense. Woke up today, watched the final episodes of EU, did a little exercise cause I really needed it =x And then cleaned up my room. It has been awhile that I moved this room, cause I don't want to. We left great memories here, but I think it's time for a change. I really wanna buy new furniture to redecorate, or maybe add some stuff. Especially things I really need lols. Hopefully I'll start to save up some money and buy something. And hopefully I can get a car to drive to some department stores and get it right from the stores than buying it online.
Today is my only off day. I cant believe the day is almost gone... at least I didnt put my mind too much on you, jerk. I really want to hang out, but too bad everyone that I know is still in school or at work. So sad, not even my brother is at home to keep me comfy. I don't want to go out by myself, everytime I'm out alone, it doesnt feel the same. I like it when someone is beside me. At least someone I can talk to. Hm.. I don't know what the future holds, but I am hoping for some goodies. At least give me an internship, I am longing for that lols. Aii yaa... I use to always say that whenever I'm bored or have nothing to talk bout, but I think I need to change that phrase. Cause I remember you telling me that too.. I truly feel that forgiving maybe easy, but forgetting someone can be a lifetime thing. There is so much memory here and there, even when I head into manhattan there's memories left behind. I havent been there for sucha long time. Yes I am afraid to go back.. I hate this feeling. I cant wait till spring break and see my girlfriends. I think I need some happiness and spent some time with them to get me brighten up.